Friday, August 22, 2014

Stop the Presses!

Finally, in the epic saga of Waiting For Godot's Constitution: Year VII, we have progress.

It's right there on the front page: CA Panel Agrees on Title of New Constitution.

In case you're either (a) not in Nepal or (b) in Nepal but have the good sense to avoid reading about politics, I will helpfully reprint the lead paragraph from The Himalayan Times, which reveals the Biggest Stop-the-Presses News To Ever Emerge Out of the Constitution Writer's Workshop and Coffee Club.

A meeting of the Constitutional-Political Dialogue and Consensus Committee 
headed by Unified CPM-Maoist leader Baburam Bhattarai meeting today 
agreed on the title of the new constitution. 
The new constitution will be called Nepal’s Constitution.

Yes! A name! Seven long years have we waited, as the space probe Dawn got most of the way to the Ceres Asteroid Belt, and three generations of elephants were gestated and born, and the spirit of Magellan circumnavigated the globe twice, and World War II was fought and won, and Shakespeare wrote his first 14 plays, and Bollywood produced 7,000 films ...

                 ... in that length of time, the committee has written two actual words for the Constitution. The title. And that's the most important part, right?

I'm sure the fact that Nepal's Constitution will be called Nepal's Constitution comes as a relief to anyone who worried it might be called India’s Constitution. The argument, actually, was over whether it should simply be known as Nepal’s Constitution, in plain old Constitution Next Door style, or if it should receive an impressive middle name, like Federal or Republic or Pro-Socialist. Personally I’m in favor of calling it WRITE ME. Or INSERT CONSTITUTION HERE. But we here in the Land That Proves Anarchy Can Work (As Long As All the Young People Go to Qatar) will take what we can get and rejoice.

Now I think I can make a prediction. In another seven years, we will have a first sentence. Let me suggest Call Me Ishmael, which is short enough to be written in seven years. And then we can wait as our esteemed Constituent Assembly Members go off to hunt the white whale. That’s good, because whales are smart, and by the time they find it, the whale should have evolved hands, so maybe it will be able to write the rest of the document for them.

But what I still want to know is: Who gets the rights to the HBO mini series?


Dennis said...

Too funny - thanks for my morning laugh over coffee!

Monsoon Rose said...

One of many good reasons to live in Nepal. The news is brought to you by Monty Python. OK, Kafka and Monty Python. But it beats just Kafka :-)

Hana - Marmota said...

:D That White Whale bit got me.